Things we never said
by ChiisanaAnisa
Summary: Every single day he regretted his decision to leave them all and go get himself a whole new life. RA oneshot
1. We met at last

"Things we never said"

By Chiisana Anisa

Chapter 1:

"We meet at last"

Long time passed by since he saw her last time. Every single day he regretted his decision to leave them all and go get himself a whole new life. He did have it, in a way. After first five years he settled down and married. His wife Mirosa, is a beautiful woman. She has all the right qualities,: she is smart, funny, good-hearted, nice, simple - in one word - everything. 

But it just wasn't meant to be. They divorced after only two years of marriage. Only one thing he did NOT regret - they didn't have any children. So, now he didn't have to worry when he is going to see them next time. In a way he was glad about it, but his wish to be a father was growing more and more every day.

Although, he knew there's never, EVER, going to be that woman for him *AGAIN*. He left her, never mind how many times he told himself: "I didn't leave her, I LET her go." Oh, yeah - it was simpler if you put it that way. Right? Not so long ago he found out he was wrong. Wrapped in his own thoughts he almost didn't notice someone bumping into him. 

He turned around and seeing dark black, almost blue hair, his heart jumped in the race. But seeing the person's face, he just nodded away. 'Calm down you idiot, it wasn't her!' Oh, how he wished it was! His mind took him back to that day when he saw her for the last time. . .

*Flashback*

She was looking at him, packing his stuff with a look of determination on his face. "You're leaving, aren't you?" She stood still waiting for his answer.

His hands stopped in mid-air upon hearing her voice speaking to him. TO HIM. Her voice ... mm-m ... it could do miracles to him. And her smile ... He's not even going to think about it, not now. He turned around to face her and found an anguish look on her face. 'What is she afraid of? Of me leaving . . . no. No way, no how!'

"What does it look like? I'm not packing myself just for the fun of it, you know? Of course I'm leaving." 

His words stabbed hard, and deep. Why is he so mean . . . not that he isn't normaly . . . But, now his words didn't sound just mean - they were cold and... so... harsh. 'Did I hurt you so much? Was it me in the first place?' She didn't knew the answers and she was even more afraid of asking. Afraid of his reaction.

He was studying her face, and the pallet of emotions that were playing same sort of dance effected him deeply. Why now? Why did it have to happen now, when he was assure everything turned out all right? There will always be new questions . . . So, he unlocked his gaze from her, continuing to pack. He did it without care, and it was obvious that her presence in the room was only making him nervous. 

She noticed his moves, he was doing it all automatically. Well, after all he was good at that; with all the training he did in the past and moving around. But, in a way she could judge that by his urge to move, to go . . . to leave . . . 

"Why is that? What did I do, what happened that made you leave? And why NOW?"

"You're kidding me, right? You honestly don't know? Well, let me tell you few things." 

He stood up in his full height over-hovering her for a head. His arm strictly placed on his hips and his glare piercing trough her. 'How is it that she can't see the obvious?' He sighed searching for the words.

"I thought you noticed all the things happening. Weird people on the street always saying to us "You won't make it", or everyone else butting themself in our way. I can't deal with it anymore. I ought to ask you to come with me, but now ... come to think about it . . . All of that will come for us again, because as long as we are together it *will never* stop."

She looked at him in unison. Of course she noticed that! But for her nothing was more important then being with him. His closeness, his smell, his touch, his protection . . . even his careness for her. Those were the things that mattered to her, not some old and crazy people from the streets. Her anger raised up upon hearing this. How could he give up? HE of all the people she knew?

"I did notice." Her fists curled up in balls, and inside she fought to calm down her anger. She didn't want to blow up, not now.

"Then . . . how come you can't see how much it bothers me?" His eyes settled on her petite form as he noticed her hands shaking. He instantly knew she was more then angry, and that she was trying to hide it from him.

Still, shock and surprise floated trough her veins. "Because I didn't think something like that would ever bother you." Anger in her seemed to be disappearing, but now . . . desperation came in it's place.

"I never knew it bothered you. You'd always wave your hand away and pretend that it didn't happen. You even told *me* not to make a fuss about it, remember?"

"Maybe. But I was to stupid to notice it wouldn't go away as long as I'm here." 'With you' he ended in his mind not wanting to say it outloud.

He was trying to protect her from suffering. He didn't want her to blame herself. He was the one to blame, as ever. Now, deep care reflected his eyes and spreaded on his forms. Leaning his head slightly on the right, he looked at her aware he is seeing her for the last time. 

It was sunrise and the first rays of light peeped in the room, making her hair shine like pure gold and erasing the true colour of her hair. Reflection of the Sun in her eyes made her look almost unreal. And yet, there she was standing right in front of him, pleading him not to go.

She waited for him to speak, when a loving smile settled on his face. He cracked his head on one side looking at her and it made her nervous. He smiled. For what in the word was he smiling?! Then, a thought crossed her mind . . . maybe . . . maybe he was going to stay? No. He wouldn't be smiling so heavenly at her if he was staying. She threw him back one of her own special smiles which could be seen only in rare occasions, like this.

He saw her smiling back, and that moment he knew just *how much* is he going to miss her. 'That much. That much that I'm willing to give up everything and stay with her no matter what.' But the other part of his mind assured him that would be wrong thing to do. It would only hurt her more.

She could feel desperation floating trough her veins. Knowing that it doesn't stand a chance, she looked away from him for a moment. "I understand. It's just that... " She wasn't able to carry on, word stuck in her throat, not wanting to come out. Tears were forming in her eyes threating to fall over. She battled with them not to.

He put his shirt, the last one, in the bag and zipped it. Hearing her speak again he lifted his face to look at her. She was fighting with tears, that much was for sure. He took few steps towards her closing the void between them. Still not moving his eyes from her form his hand grabbed the back of the bed. 

"What is it?"

The question hung in the air. It made her shift from one leg to another before answering. "Things aren't what they used to be." She dropped her head down looking at his red, famous shirt, her favourite, and his chest rising up and down as he breathed in and out. 

He took one more step closing in the gap between. "You can say that again." His hand held her chin, ever so gently, lifting it up forcing her to look at him. 

She stood there, watching at his grey-blue eyes. She was surprised she found not regret but deep passion in them. One tear rolled over and down her cheek, but feeling his warm fingers moving up she knew that special, traitorous tear would *never* fall all the way down.

Emotions roaming trough her heart, her mind in a puzzle, she tried to speak. But instead of words only gasp of air came out, the one she has been holding in from the moment he caressed her cheek. She tried again and now she could withness the words coming out of her mouth. "Don't... please... don't..." But, hearing them, they didn't make any sense, so she closed her lips in a try to stop them.

He sighed deeply and looked at her with so much compassion. He didn't know he made a mistake that very moment. "What? Go? you know I can't stay." His voice flew around her head before she actually heard the words.

Suddenly, her face snatched away from his hand, and her legs took a step backwards. Looking at him like she've seen a ghost, with her arms hanging beside her hips in no motion. Then, one of her hands raised up as she pressed it to her lips, next moment only to quickly lean it on his. She turned away, in a desperate try not to look at him again. Luckily for her the doors were already open, and all she had to do was to walk trough them.

"Wait.." - he pleaded her, yet he knew she wouldn't stop.

Surprised by her actions he wasn't able to move from the spot on which he was standing. He could only hear one word, that escaped her lips, so weak and spoken in a so soft way. 

"Goodbye..." 

He touched his lips, searching them, not even knowing why. The sound of steps running down the hall and down the stairs came back to him, made him aware he was now alone in the room. He picked up his bag, and walked out closing the doors behind him, this time - forever. At that point of time Sun was way up in the sky, telling him that new day is ready to start. . .

*End of flashback*

Remembering all of that again only made him curse the life and everything life seems to bring with it. He was angry. Angry on himself for being such a fool and letting all of that to happen. To her . . . to him. He got up of his bed and grabbed a jacket before leaving his apartment. On his way down few neighbours greeted him, but he didn't notice them, for his mind was somewhere else. 

He stepped out of the building and started walking down the street. He was five years in Tokyo now. Wondering were to go or what to do, to take his mind of those painful memories, he looked up in the sky. It was clear, without clouds. 'This is going to be one hell of a New Year - without snow.' he thought to himself. On special Christmas memory crossed his mind and small smile appeared on his face. 

His foot stopped frozen when his gaze settled on one person. He saw her only from behind and recognised her immediately. Breaking out of it, he started walking until he was just ahead of her, then turned round, wondering whether to smile. It didn't seem like teen years. She didn't see him at first. She was looking in a shop window. Lightly he touched the sleeve of her jacket making her to turn around and face him.

" Hello, Akane. "

TBC

Love,

Chiisana Anisa


	2. Alternative ending ?

"Alternative ending?"

He saw her from behind and recognised her immediately. He walked faster until he was just ahead of her, then turned around, wondering whether to smile. It didn't seem like ten years. She didn't see him at first. She was looking in a shop window. He touched the sleeve of her jacket making her turn around and face him.

"Hello, Akane."

He was looking at her with that gentle smile of his. He knew he hadn't made a mistake. Not this time. For years he kept thinking he'd seen her - at bus stops, in hospitals, at the park - anywhere. And now . . . she was standing only few inches away in the middle of the street.

"Ranma!" As she said his name, her heart quickened. She remembered their last time together. They were saying goodbye, each in their own way, she, with tears in her eyes and he with such pain in his eyes that was unbearable to look at them. He told her he had to go. That was a laugh, in a way. And now . . .

"I'm surprised you recognised me." he said, burying his hands in the pockets of his black jacket.

"Really?" Light smile touched her lips. In fact she'd been thinking about him a lot recently. "You haven't moved here, in Tokyo back then?" Surely not, she thought. Some news about him travelling down the country came to her, but she wanted to know. He was so eager to leave and travel. So he did. Or?

"God, no! I moved here about five years ago."

She looked at him again. He looked the same. Although he didn't have his pig-tail anymore, now real man-hair-style. Probably because he was near thirties now. 28, to be exact. His face had those same lines, soft and almost childish. He did grow a little, now higher for a good head and a half, and his shoulders were broader. He kept his muscular figure, so she presumed he still worked out everyday.

"I was just going for a walk. To clean my head from so many thoughts. I never imagined to meet you here."

"Oh. Well, I moved here two years ago. I would have contacted you but I didn't know you were here also." - she said, lying trough her teeth. She knew very well, he was living in Tokyo. It was impossible not to know that with a sister like Nabiki.

"Who would've guessed? And we never met before." - he was replying to her statement. His heart was jumping up and down inside of him, telling him his old feelings came back. And *way* back.

"But it turned out well. We are here now, aren't we?"

"Yeah. And it's nice to see you again." - his eyes flickered at this with unusual glow. Something told him that this evening is going to be more interesting then usual. And he was more then glad about it. It really felt good to see her face again. 

She haven't changed a bit. Maybe her hair was longer now, high up in a pony-tail, but her colour didn't change. Her eyes had darker shade of brown, but that came with age. Her body was now more then ever feminine, her small hands holding the bag, and smooth legs under her short skirt. Oh, he knew her figure inch by inch. It would never parish from his mind. EVER.

An awkward moment occurred between them. They stood there looking at each other, letting all the new impressions sink in as their eyes searched stranger's body. So new, and yet so old. 

Silence grew more and more. Knowing he couldn't let this chance slip by, Ranma said the first thing that came to his mind. "Are you rushing somewhere?"

"No, not really. I was just killing time by watching the shops."

He smiled at that. She was still easy-going when it came to that kind of things. Little blush of red covered his face when he remembered him acting like a girl. She was the one to blame, after all, she did kick him in the pond, and because of that he hit his head and . . . But, now was not the time to mourn over lost memories. "Then I suggest we "kill" it together. Let's grab a coffee." 

She nodded in response and let his arm slipped under hers, taking her down the street. Feeling him close again, his touch and his smell - it was almost intoxicating. She breathed in hard trying to process all the smells that came from his direction. He still had those natural kind of smell, lightly mixed with cologne he now used. It wasn't him, but in the other hand, it was. She wasn't aware of the fact he was thinking the same at that exact same moment.

They walked towards "Gaby's", a small cafe just off the high street. They sat opposite to each other. He ordered coffee for them, while she was taking off her jacket. He did the same thing, but not really caring for the way he was going to put it down. He was a man, right?

"So, Ranma did you open your own dojo? What did you do?" she asked, remembering him telling her he would love to open his own practice when he grew up.

"Not exactly." He said. "Oh, but I . . ."- she jumped in not letting him finish.

"Wait. I did say not *exactly*, right? I'm a co-owner. I didn't have enough money, so a friend of mine borrowed it to me. Like a loan. But, another year and it's going to be mine, and mine only."

"You enjoy it?" she wanted to know as much as possible about him and his life in past ten years. She missed him so much. She was a wreck after he left. She would cry from morning to late night hours, when sleep would usually take over her tortoured mind. For days she refused to leave the safety of her bedroom. She didn't let anyone in, not even Kasumi.

They all tried very hard, to make everything seem so normal after he left, but it just wasn't the same without him being around all the time. Just how many times she would find herself looking at his empty room, now stripped from all of his thing, walls bare like her soul. She knew there was no way to stop him. Maybe if she had told him the truth, the real reason for her visit that morning, maybe . . . just maybe . . . he would stay. 

But seeing him so determinant about leaving she decided it was better for him not to know the truth. So she never let those words slip over her soft, red lips. Never...

Maybe now...

Not noticing her far off expression, he instantly replied an answer. "Yes, of course!", with little too much of enthusiasm. "What about you? Your family? And the dojo?" Oh, he had so many questions, he was capable asking them one by one in a roll. He had them in his head for years, and knew them by heart. They were constantly there, bugging him about what was she doing now.

"There is nothing much to say, I guess. Same old, same old. Oh, yes did you know that Nabiki married Kuno? I almost fainted when she told us. And Paps! He went ballistic - he was so happy." Akane smiled at her sister's happiness. After all Kuno turned out to be a caring husband, and more than a good father to his two kids. Even Kasumi had more luck that her. 

"Kasumi, as you may have guessed, married Dr. Tofu, who else? They are happy. They live above his clinic, and they have one daughter. They named her . . . Ranko." Her eyes lowered down, looking blankly at the cup in front of her that just appeared on the table. She waited for his response. She knew he hated his woman side more than anything.

"Really? I don't know what to say. I guess I should be honoured. But - Nabiki and Kuno?! Well, if I think hard enough I could say it was obvious, right?"

Sigh left her lips after hearing him respond. There was not anger in his voice, more something like contentment. "Yeah, you could." But, now came the harder part of the story.

"As for Paps . . . I don't know if you heard, but he passed away four years from now. He caught some damn cold, and at one point of time we all thought he was going to make it. Boy, were we wrong. His condition only got worse and one day . . . he was gone." 

He listened her in shock. So, she lost her father too. Guilt came over him for not being there for her and the urge to apologise was now stronger than ever. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I wish I could've been there." Last words spoken in whisper but loud enough for her to hear them. 

She looked at him, right in the eyes, sensing his arm tightening around hers. He was gentle at touch and so warm. That kind of warmth she needed so desperately back then, at her fathers funeral. But it was her to blame he wasn't there. "No, don't feel guilty. Nabiki asked me if I wanted to contact you, but I said no. Somehow it didn't seem right to make a fuss about something that wasn't your concern anymore."

Light anger raised up inside of him. How could she? Didn't she know him better? "Why? Why did you ever think that? And Pops, that twisting little - even he wasn't smart enough to call me and tell me. You know I would come, anytime."

"Maybe, Ranma. But as I said - it didn't feel right." - she removed her hand under his. She felt offended although she had no reason to feel that way. Maybe him, but . . . Only to change the subject she asked him another question. "So where are you in Tokyo?"

"North." - he said. She could sense he was still ticked-off a little, but he decided to pass it. He definetly grew up. For him . . . It was a two-bedroom apartment in a flat in Shiogi. Nice and empty kind of way. He thought about all the evenings he wished he had someone to come home to, after divorcing Mirosa. Namely he had one person in his mind, and that person was now sitting right across him.

"And you?" - he asked, after a pause.

"South. It's okay, I share an apartment with my college from work, Mariko." Trough her mind was now floating a picture of a small uncousy apartment, that was leaking every time it rained hard enough. "But I'm thinking of moving. It's one of the reasons why I'm going home next month." - she sighed, suddenly thinking back at her secret from that morning. Is she ever going to tell him? 

Her eyes teared up, all her emotions mixing in a strange cocktail. She had an hurricane inside of her ready to blow up any minute now. She knew it wasn't a good thing to see him again. It caused her so much pain, more than she was capable of barring.

He noticed her inner struggle. It wasn't that hard. He felt the same. He was torn apart seeing her like this. He knew it was his fault. Then he couldn't hold it anymore.

"Damn!" - she looked at him, already holding her purse getting set to go. "Akane, I don't know anymore why I left that day." he said at last looking up at her. 

Upon hearing his words her body dropped like a bag in the seat again. 'Why now, Ranma? Why did you have to came up with that again?' Searching hard for her voice, and attempting to sort it out of any emotion she let her purse lay on the table. "It's all right, Ranma."

"We were young. Young people do things like that all the time, right?" - he added, knowing that this wasn't true, knowing she didn't deserve such treatment. He thought of all the letters he almost send to her, now, old home. He'd written every day at first, begging her to forgive him. Wondering around for a week, writing what he sweared, his last letter to her he'd known even then that he would never meet anyone like her again.

"I suppose you're right." She swallowed hard, trying to hide her disappointment and hurt that he seemed to have no regrets. But his voice told her another story. He regretted stepping out of that room that morning. He regretted it hard, and he probably paid his price for doing so.

"And what if I'm not? You know I never regretted what we had then."

Now it was her turn to be hurt again, and to feel anger, even little bit of hatred, no matter how unappropiated it was. She steadied her voice from trembling trying to calm down her steam from blowing.

"Really? Then why did you leave, Ranma? Do you know I almost died 'cause of the pain you caused me? Do you know I wasn't able to trust anyone for more then three years? Do you know I divorced a beautiful man because I couldn't get you off my mind?" Her anger was now easy to notice in her big brown eyes, whose ends were full of tears on the verge of spilling out.

He blinked few times, catching her every word. He knew she had every right to be angry, but this much? Was there something more? What? "No, I didn't know, Akane. And I can't say how sorry I am for causing you so much pain. But believe me when I say I feel the same."

She had enough. She wasn't here to cry again, to let her heart be broken twice by the same man. She got up, holding her purse so tight, that her knuckles turned white. "I don't care Ranma." Turning to leave, strong hands stopped her from doing so. She knew them. She turned around and gazed in his eyes. "Let me go. I have . . ."

"NO, Akane. I won't let you go. I have some things to say."

"I said let me go. Ranma, don't force me to do anything I will regret later. Please."

He let go of her hand, but she didn't move. She looked at him in a odd, caring way. His eyes were the same . . . just like her . . . NO. She pulled out her wallet and give him a card.

"This is my business card, but it has my home number on it. You can call me, and I will let you know if I have the time to hear those things you have to say." - this time she started walking towards the door. He looked at the card for a second before registering she was walking away.

"Akane..." - he pleaded just like ten years ago. Last time she didn't stop. Why would she now? But she did. 

"What Ranma?" - she answered to his plea, with sorrow building up in her voice and in her eyes. Why was it so hard? If she would tell him now would he get it? It doesn't hurt to try. "You know, I killed the time I had to spair. Now, I must go home and take care of my ten years old son. Sorry, but I just don't have time for this."

He nodded. He only heard the word "son". So she had a life, a life she was now going back to. But his hope was refusing to die so soon.

"Perhaps we could meet in Nerima? You did say you are going there next month, right? I have a presentation there with the dojo." 

She saw the hope in his eyes. No, he didn't figure it out. 'Dumb-ass as ever, Ranma.' She didn't have any other choice then smile and say the best thing possible. 

" Perhaps." Then she stepped outside.

Here he was. Looking at her leaving - again. He was the one that felt left this time. She was the one leaving, leaving him alone and going back to . . . 'Wait! Didn't she say?' Like a photo-album of words his mind registered her words:

"I'm living with a college . . ."

"I'm thinking about moving back." - he looked at her card once again this time actually reading what it said.

The last one stroke him like a thunder:

"I going back home to *MY 10 YEARS* old son."

His mind stopped. No thoughts, no words, no sense. Only flashback of two words - MY - and - 10 -. 'God was I stupid!' - and with that thought he stepped outside too, but before tossing something on the table together with money for the coffee's. Looking in both ways he could notice only one figure between hundreds of people on the street. The one he is going to follow and tell her . . .

ha . . . what is he going to tell her . . .

+++

Inside the cafe, waitress picking up the money noticed something white under it. It was small, thick and white paper on the one side. But twisting it around she would find these words:

" . . . Tendo Akane, pediatrist . . ."

But, not really caring for the card, she toss it into the garbage. It wasn't important to her, after all. But she would always remember those two people that just had coffee in her shop. They would find a way because . . .

+++

. . . what is he going to tell her . . .

. . . is that he loved her . . .

And . . .

. . . that he still does . . .

THE END


End file.
